paris, je t’aime pas

“smile.”

that was the first thing anyone said to me today. from the bus driver on my route to work, an older black gentleman. i wasn’t scowling or frowning, wasn’t in a funk, but i did have my monday morning face on. i couldn’t help returning his grin, though. a beautiful greeting from a beautiful man to start my day. his words put me in a good mood. i couldn’t help feeling positive and looking forward to the day, rain and all.

i kept on smiling all morning. until i came across this.

that stopped me. messed with my high. reminded me that the world was a sick, twisted, messed-up place. i don’t even know what to say anymore.

there’s so much to protest, scream, and cry about.

i’m fighting to hold on to those rare moments of positivity, despite everything else. i get depressed too easily. i get angry too easily. i don’t feel happy enough.

at least it was a beautiful morning.